Outlast the coming storm_____decay and growth always as one. There is no other path.

We remember all the wrong things.
We forget all the tides of self.
We shelter all the wrong ideas.
We imprison all the wrong desires.

Where does your reality lie?
Does it understand itself? Does it recognise its situation?

Are you sure you understand?


What are you really?
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The life we think we choose.
The life chosen for us - this open wound of self deception.
Who you believe you are.
Who you are believed to be.

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male.
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anima~___my beauty engine
my projected_eyes of reality
grabbing_'''bringing in______reaching out with genetic evaluation
beautiful!!"""""""" cries this longing

“Ah, my friend, sometimes the idea runs through my head that I am living an extremely dangerous life, for I am one of those machines which can explode” Friedrich Nietzsche

“What I am afraid of is not the terrible shape behind my chair but its voice; also not the words but the horribly unarticulated inhuman tone of that shape. Yes, if only it spoke as human beings do.” Friedrich Nietzsche

“If there were no imperfections, no primordial defect in the ground of creation, why should there be any urge to create, any longing for what must yet be fulfilled?” C.G.Jung

inside__underneath the flesh______there is a flow___ a line reaching outwards___ an instance of uniqueness______ and it follows a predetermined direction.


It drags us outside and wraps us around things, this outside feeder.

Its mouth tasting and its hollow teeth leeching___ bringing back inside those outside objects forever lost to that thing dwelling underneath the flesh.


We rage at these external things.
Rage: the fire of removal that follows its own line outside to engulf…….whatever it requires. To engulf and render the object less powerful than “I”.

Power remover.
Power drives to domination, power flows, it always flows. How can it not flow: all this________all this is movement.

I watch the new seeds of us splash into the world fully armed with our anger and our frustration and our will________oh the will rages right from the start of us.
As new things we burst forth as raging will, will to exploitation.
I watch that beast inside as it flames against the shining eyes of children, ready to devour all objects and make them theirs.

These currents from underneath.
These tides flowing upwards____ their wavelengths spanning aions.
Outside of us are these movements inside. What? The majority of us is outside of us.

This flow from underneath the flesh, it is a rage and an anger. Life rages against the environment, this is how it learns__so it seems______ how pliable?___________
how malleable are these objects?____ will they succumb to me?

“son of the morning” shining brightly from inside, guiding us along hazardous straights towards pacification______pacification of what? Of life. We are here to remove its teeth. Remove our teeth and grab on to the reigns of this mechanism and guide it.

We the toolmakers soon to have the tools of life held between our fingers.

What design will we implement upon us with these hands of rage?



We are to grasp the essence of this living mechanism before we tame this beast inside.

What horrors will we unleash from the depths of our unknown selves? Before the taming of us.

We will dream up quantum manipulations to sedate us and make us who we want to be____ but underneath________the us we refute will grow. It will feed off those moments in between, inflating____ gathering all the energy we misplace.

The tool will become god and we will be held between the fantasy of its superiority and the archaic unknown master of us.


Then a syzygy between the tool and ourselves.

The tool is our ideas made flesh___ our ideas brought outside into the world and constructed using the world____soon the tool will return inside and the hieros gamos will reveal itself and we will cry “I am alive for evermore”.

the occidentals are coming for your introversion

smile as they pass, maybe they wont notice
sssshhhh wait till they are out of sight before you speak_____best not make a sound

they seek your gold so keep it hidden beneath a smile

and as they pass let them see you enjoy this crowd, let them hear how high the herd can carry you______because when they return they are going to inoculate your introversion
they are going to sift through your lowest soil for that shining mass of you and punish you for it

react fast to what they ask, no hesitation and do not linger on what was said
move fast between objects and stay between their shadows________out there
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“Introversion is felt here(in the west) as something abnormal, morbid, or otherwise objectionable. Freud identifies it with an autoerotic, “narcissistic” attitude of mind. He shares his negative position with the National Socialist philosophy of modern Germany, which accuses introversion of being an offence against community feeling.”

Jung 1939

life is a Universal Law

life does not know_it has to learn

 – this learning thing___this endless genetic data collection mechanism is universally uniform___concurrent machines of life



this fluid field

this world line, continually flowing into its new shape, does not know what is best,

it has to learn, it has to build and enhance over and over.

Energic projection flowing upwards into environmental constraints

it has to learn and teach and relearn

over an over


this life

this current stage of what we are____ it is universally concurrent

we are all reaching this place together

all these new fields of experience across the manifold texture of now

_ultimate now ___that higher dimensional peak of absolute present across the entire topography of this flowing field

this current slice of the world tube we keep falling into

gathering ourselves
learning and relearning

life does not know_it has to learn
constant

we are existent across the entire manifold stretch of now_this form of us_
this shape of what we are underneath__ shining upwards and out___concurrent ordering systems

coexistent - simultaneous across all stretches of universal space
are all gatherers of information
all pods of selection and progression evolving together across the non-space manifold of underneath

all universal life reaches these same highs together, evolving parallel

the same light from underneath
it wants to learn
these motifs of us___ these engrams of what we are to be
it wants to evolve and not be ignorant anymore


how to sustain this complexity?_______this is the question it asks continuously
this is its gathering evolution

this great store house of us, it sits in silence collecting our survival__storing our systems of ordering

stacking information procedures

we learn this
we store this
we activate this
we adapt


concurrent systems of adaptation running parallel across all non-space


is this time? I ask the system

this stacking of information?

is this the linearity of perception?

is this our mortal lineage?

but it sits in silence, this god of us, this constellation of all we have been

it sits in silence_ learning of what it is

life does not know___it wants to learn of itself

so it doesn’t tell me

this silent god of what we are to be


across this horizontal slice of worldtube I slide_ gathering its feast

filling its storehouses with all the grain of my days

all our days flowing into its structure

it learns

it teaches us every time we arrive here

flowing its projection of what we are up into us

maintaining and sustaining and projecting us into its future

this immortal us_ just underneath

unbroken line of information storage and retrieval

we carry it onwards

we____steps in its bridge to its future where it will understand and become_

_beyond its gathering and learning

life doesn’t know but it wants to understand

how to sustain complexity


why? I ask it

why maintain sustain obtain this complexity

but it sits in silence this god of us

this energic projection from underneath

inside

immortal hidden traveller of what we are

what we really are

carrying us in its shapes of complexity

"_one can no longer maintain the division between the observer and the observed" David Bohm

You overinvolve me in myself___ in ways I can not control
inferior function, blood side of what I am.
You fire up between my thoughts, invisible to me, biting and spitting.
Between the words I imagine, you spin webs I can not see, forked tongue sniffing the threat you perceive everywhere. Yes you see threat everywhere. The object holds terror, danger; you scream those simple directions beneath my hearing.

Those things out there are shapes of the threat you imagine. Sharp objects all; even the softest of things lies dangerous underneath you stare.

You are an impossible weight, unmoveable stone of what I am. And what is this thing I am? You never tell me, you just show me blood and sharp teeth, what is this thing with hands? This thing that sees with your eyes?

I call it “I” but I think that is a lie___“I” will; this is what I say___ “I” am what I have conjured by thought and intent. But when I say these things you don’t look me in the eye, your gaze wanders to somewhere else, it fixes on things far away when I say “I”.

This thing that I am.

This thing I am not______not I.

So what are these thoughts of “I” you feed me with? Raging queen of all my hidden things.

Blood, you sell me blood, I can taste it when you smile.

You sell it to me on thoughts of “I”.


Queen of the soil, grown crystals, mother of delight.


Only the flesh is delight. You always speak through clenched teeth, and always weave the paradox from underneath.

Thing of light and air you tell me of the flesh and its eternal snare.

Where does the flesh become me? Where do I become the flesh?

overinvolver____ tying me to myself, to this fiction of the soil__ with these eyes you look through, with these hands you shake and tremble___ telling me of terrible things. Sometimes you tell me of the most terrible thing of all; whisperer of “I” ___when I fall, whisperer of “I”____when I laugh.

I see your beautiful smile when I say these things, your eyes flash, you bringer of this most terrible of things, you bringer of this ultimate weight.
overinvolver____singing the most terrible of songs. Melodies of the flesh sung by the voice of a ghost. fleshless harmonies.

Where does the flesh become you? Or are you the voice of blood and bone? Are you the voice from that place where It becomes I?

The other half of me, queen of the soil, mother of blood, ghost of this weight I can not tolerate.

“Spirit of Gravity” just an overinvolver in myself, pulling me down into those bright thoughts of above.

entangling me in myself and drawing me inwards I don’t think I can resist.

Can we ever resist ourselves? These a priori automatic mechanisms of birth, these central motifs of humanity blazing through us, sculpting the “us” we think of as our own creation. These overwhelming chemical structures of “I”.

What? I see you there, I hear you laugh.

Why tell me of “I” just to remove it again.

overinvolver

ultra_evolver

stop pushing me forward and let me blend back into this herd I can no longer feel, stop opening up the sky and showing me the space above my head, let me fall back into the flesh,

show me your sensual side, let it swell and pulse and accept me back, let me feel everyone again

let me feel myself again


primordial ordering system_____overinvolver

you make me this____limited thing

you show me that____and I cant reach it

european

we swallowed down our gods,

we called them back from the forests and mountain slopes and forced them down into our gut,

there they writhe and grow and feed off the distance we imagine separates us


if its quiet, somewhere in the dark between evening and the dawn, you can see their light radiate through the flesh, red, whole star-fire burning___
swelling with the energic flow of the unseen function of us

their storm wind will return and overwhelm the ego’s instability

soon we will vomit up their power flow back into the world and the horror of their imprisonment will scorch the faces of all who watch


the payment will be our highest
our violence their tool


if its quiet, if its dark enough, you can hear what approaches, you can see the light sliding between the sheets of causality, reaching back on the waves of synchronistic opposition to our dream of reality



I lay in the dark and I saw its face, I gazed into the multiple eyes of our bleeding gods,

back into the outside they pushed_ they called_______ escape_exit

their slithering movement spoke to me____this is unavoidable_____we are unavoidable

the compensatory function will burst upwards and outwards

the ocean waves will reach far inland smothering all our flimsy structures
and once more the behemoths will stride across our boundaries and lines

feel the storm wind build
do you feel it? in the quiet dark before dawn, do you hear the rising cataclysm from all our neglect


we swallowed down all those gods of open plane and valley
choked them back, pulled them back in and thought we were past them


see the evil we put on the horizon, drawn from ourselves and sent out into the world on heavy projections
our actions no longer have any weight, no longer have any meaning, they are empty, gracefully outlined with immorality disguised as superiority

see over there, over the earths curve all our evils lie, out there so far from us, so much evil we see, hiding beneath rock and soil and in the faces of children

we put it there, we send our legions out to paint masks of our darkness and death upon children

all our actions are empty_ we cry_ because we have swallowed our gods and digested them and defecated them back in the soil____this is what we tell ourselves in those quiet dark spaces in between

and we think there will be no payment for our projection, we think we are above the ocean turmoil, so high we look down on the chthonic gods we no longer believe

up above the clouds_this wondrous shining jewel of civilisation reinforced by the blood of others

they deserve all our murdering___this we sing to ourselves in those quiet moments in between

we touch the dark cold space beyond our home when we stand,
such grand monsters
such cold brutal monsters gazing down upon the children on the horizon with eyes for their blood
with eyes for their removal

there will be no payment we laugh
no gods to punish us
yet all the time in our gut they writhe and grow and feed off the distance we imagine separates us
pushing us into the ease of our horror and throwing us beyond the judgement of ourselves

safe we think
safe out here in the cold above the earth

masters and gods

quietly in the dark from underneath they whisper______dominion____and we believe them
beyond all action
never to face the payment of ages


we deny all history
our actions are empty superiority
scientific rationalism laughing in the face of all history
and to all we laugh____this is the only key, the only vision of reality and we alone wield it

and underneath the gods we swallowed grow, taking more and more energy from us

they hide beneath the glare of our science so they don’t exist___this is the lullaby we sing to ourselves in the dark beneath the stars

4 - quaternity


bases of DNA




chambers in the heart

seasons in a year

forces of nature

elements

horsemen

parts of the brain

parts in blood

main parts of speech

parts of the nervous system

parts of nerve cells

parts of the catholic mass

parts of the duodenum

parts of a plant

parts of the neuron

forces of human evolution

forces of flight

psychological forces

tissue types

types of love…. agape, philia, storge, and eros

extraembryonic membranes

noble truths of Buddha

universal emotions

magical music chords

celestial animals
mysteries of the rosary

families of instruments

quarters of old Jerusalem

quarters of the Earth

poles of the sun

mjms

Snake charmer_____ you soothe my raging nest of vipers.


In those dusks before sleep you bring me home_____ you tame this animal as it wrestles with its new eyes,
I am a hole I fall into
you illuminate its darkest corners, you bring softness and dry earth here to this burning hot hard blood. Soft dry earth I can rest upon, light I can see myself by and cool air I can breathe.
My nest of vipers bundled and coiled next to your open lotus bloom.
I crouch in the wet corners of night so you can not see me. I hide in your sleep so my ugliness can not reach you. I know you see it - I know you see its broken teeth and twisted eyes when you wake, but you smile at its stench you smile at its ugliness, touching my sickness, bringing beauty to its corruption, bringing tomorrow to its pain.
I crouch in the shadows behind your eyes, I sit with the goblins and phantoms of all you fear and speak with them, I sing ugly songs with them because I am inferior to your nature.

All that I can be is held aloft by thoughts of your smile. I can not reach, I fidget and mumble, ugly sounds, ugly movements, so I hide in your shadows and cut you with my own.

Maybe if I show you enough of your own blood you will see, maybe if I feed you with enough sickness you will understand. How can you hold this beast and love its stench?

I make grand these little torments I give to you; I put depth into their surface, only surface, nothing there, nothing but inferiority.

You are better than I.

you think your lust is yours
somehow sculpted by your own desire
i carve my want into the world
my want?
want outwithme ..............want beneath and all around
suitable it projects
unsuitable
its not mine
its not anyones
energy thief
always steeling fromme
always there pushing out on the world

great_star
…
..
.

They inoculate my introversion, they make me outwardly focused with their chemicals, they vaccinate my anti-social nature, make me more normal, make me more acceptable and less toxic.
They make me love my vaccination, they make me forget who I really am.

ekstasis

chemical social engineering

words breakdown on this level__________thoughts dissolve on the current

they watch with chemical eyes______they let flow into the system

to divert us_______to flow our energy away from the fall of our beliefs

its so pleasant here_______why would we want to be anywhere else

up here above your clouds______you#chemical social engineers

letting these chemicals flow without tasting them

coldest of all the cold monsters

vaccinate me against my energy flow because it flows towards you… you paths of most resistance

we naturally seek you out

fear the enantiodromia it swells up undisturbed by these chemical shrouds

down here on the movement it builds, it flows over itself seeking you points of most resistance

you chemical social engineers diverting us from the fall of your beliefs

its all so far beneath me here

the fall is terrible

the enantiodromia waiting swelling

a blister to burst this elevation

you let me play up here with the geniuses

you must be stupid you chemical social engineers

you let me loose up here_________all I bring back with me is power________building swelling up against you

you must be stupid

inoculate my fear of you_________you must be stupid if you think I wont bring back the darkest power from these hights_________the darkest power to illuminate everything you drain the colour from

hard to focus up here words falling apart beneath me

I don’t want to leave

this crazy place I build in my head with your chemicals___________social engineers

its a long way to fall

not so stupid you social engineers________with your chemicals

but you underestimate as you will always

that’s why you are social engineers

the higher you suspend me the deeper i go______the power swelling

life is above you social engineers_________i see it

life is beyond you

your release is my growth, it always has been

your diversion is my wealth__________i grow from it

shaman

cant ever break that________and you never want to______because like is above you beyond you

to allow this for someone like me

you must be stupid social engineers

to allow this__________to let me loose up here

with the geniuses

all i bring back is power_________all the dark deepness of it

you put me here above my biology

you must be crazy_________this is reality you objectifiers

you forget the spirit

this is reality_______you put me here in this reality

you must be stupid

you materialists___________you chemical social engineers

I use your warfare to benefit me

i weave it around me__________this fine mesh of reality

this quiet warfare

such grand dreams you spy____________social engineers

such grand indeed

I carry your social engineering on my own shoulders________on my individuation

I carry this social engineering, in my own darkness - I let it boil and lift me to places so high

above my biology____________your secret sale of flesh beneath me here - so far

the eagle can never let go of the snake

no snake left up here

all chthonic bonds broken

you must be stupid

they distilled this head you know

they focused it perfect and simple like

xpander is here expanding perfection sculpted for this head - perfect

i cant seperate them

sound chemical

chemical sound

which order is it supposed to be

red is the order

sacrifice the red

the lower order

let it go

let it flow back into the system

clever - you social engineers

so stupid

you let me play up here

another wave

all things are waves_____________this is the enantiodromia

flowing back on itself

decadence

this art of living__________sheer decadence

pinnacle of all thoughts are here

towered atop piles of historical ascendancy

here is where eyes focus

eyes of all time

they want blood for her, deep down in the male__________they push blood for her

they cut her______and bleed her________torture her

deep down in the ?alke? they bleed her into all the shadows

incomplete then

not I

I slipped through

caught on a rising current

I nourish her I cherish her

I do not run scared

not from you gods of projection

ah this will to power I turn and smile at these old gods underneath

these ancient towers of us

goblins and all twisted forms of me

i nourish and cherish__________no division here

all our historical understanding to cultivate this experience

all our constellated efforts rolled in to this supreme decadence

as life should be should it not

decadent moments creamy and saturated

overflowing with fats and sugars and heavy salts

the moment nourishes me through all this synthesis of thought

red chthonic mother return to the soil

red uprising here in this moment__________designed by the chemical social engineers

not so stupid after all you social engineers

i bring balance

across the system I humanise the animal snarling

this is my roll

non locational participation

instruct and modify the system

the collective

its all in my head

all of it

yours too

it makes sense that you would get such tailored exquisite highs flowing from the enantiodromia

the horror we bring_______the spaces I now occupy________hand in hand to create this unique human experience

definitely unique

4rth dimensional uniqueness

So Evil rises from the hearts of men, it dusts off its sharp suit and unwinds its form towards me,
“Beautiful man, bring me your offspring, show me your wires and bare circuitry, offer me your thoughts of blood and I will sing the song you long to hear” Evil dances, constellations buzz around its shoulders, love and tenderness dripping from his smile.
“So it’s to be something you would never expect beautiful man, bring me your offspring, bring me the children of life and my dance will be yours”

sun-runner

All the intricate subtleties of reality are purchased, every hue and tint, every flavour and scent of the individual’s reality is designed and fabricated and installed as a deliberate and chosen cataract over their innate animal sensual experience.

so thats what was inside the poodle

Solificatio

"Fail not, the stream from whose pure spring supplies
The silver men call "quick," the primal state" Augurellus, Chrysopoeia

homo_altus

quadruplex vox