mjms

Snake charmer_____ you soothe my raging nest of vipers.


In those dusks before sleep you bring me home_____ you tame this animal as it wrestles with its new eyes,
I am a hole I fall into
you illuminate its darkest corners, you bring softness and dry earth here to this burning hot hard blood. Soft dry earth I can rest upon, light I can see myself by and cool air I can breathe.
My nest of vipers bundled and coiled next to your open lotus bloom.
I crouch in the wet corners of night so you can not see me. I hide in your sleep so my ugliness can not reach you. I know you see it - I know you see its broken teeth and twisted eyes when you wake, but you smile at its stench you smile at its ugliness, touching my sickness, bringing beauty to its corruption, bringing tomorrow to its pain.
I crouch in the shadows behind your eyes, I sit with the goblins and phantoms of all you fear and speak with them, I sing ugly songs with them because I am inferior to your nature.

All that I can be is held aloft by thoughts of your smile. I can not reach, I fidget and mumble, ugly sounds, ugly movements, so I hide in your shadows and cut you with my own.

Maybe if I show you enough of your own blood you will see, maybe if I feed you with enough sickness you will understand. How can you hold this beast and love its stench?

I make grand these little torments I give to you; I put depth into their surface, only surface, nothing there, nothing but inferiority.

You are better than I.