the occidentals are coming for your introversion

smile as they pass, maybe they wont notice
sssshhhh wait till they are out of sight before you speak_____best not make a sound

they seek your gold so keep it hidden beneath a smile

and as they pass let them see you enjoy this crowd, let them hear how high the herd can carry you______because when they return they are going to inoculate your introversion
they are going to sift through your lowest soil for that shining mass of you and punish you for it

react fast to what they ask, no hesitation and do not linger on what was said
move fast between objects and stay between their shadows________out there
.
.
.
.

“Introversion is felt here(in the west) as something abnormal, morbid, or otherwise objectionable. Freud identifies it with an autoerotic, “narcissistic” attitude of mind. He shares his negative position with the National Socialist philosophy of modern Germany, which accuses introversion of being an offence against community feeling.”

Jung 1939

life is a Universal Law

life does not know_it has to learn

 – this learning thing___this endless genetic data collection mechanism is universally uniform___concurrent machines of life



this fluid field

this world line, continually flowing into its new shape, does not know what is best,

it has to learn, it has to build and enhance over and over.

Energic projection flowing upwards into environmental constraints

it has to learn and teach and relearn

over an over


this life

this current stage of what we are____ it is universally concurrent

we are all reaching this place together

all these new fields of experience across the manifold texture of now

_ultimate now ___that higher dimensional peak of absolute present across the entire topography of this flowing field

this current slice of the world tube we keep falling into

gathering ourselves
learning and relearning

life does not know_it has to learn
constant

we are existent across the entire manifold stretch of now_this form of us_
this shape of what we are underneath__ shining upwards and out___concurrent ordering systems

coexistent - simultaneous across all stretches of universal space
are all gatherers of information
all pods of selection and progression evolving together across the non-space manifold of underneath

all universal life reaches these same highs together, evolving parallel

the same light from underneath
it wants to learn
these motifs of us___ these engrams of what we are to be
it wants to evolve and not be ignorant anymore


how to sustain this complexity?_______this is the question it asks continuously
this is its gathering evolution

this great store house of us, it sits in silence collecting our survival__storing our systems of ordering

stacking information procedures

we learn this
we store this
we activate this
we adapt


concurrent systems of adaptation running parallel across all non-space


is this time? I ask the system

this stacking of information?

is this the linearity of perception?

is this our mortal lineage?

but it sits in silence, this god of us, this constellation of all we have been

it sits in silence_ learning of what it is

life does not know___it wants to learn of itself

so it doesn’t tell me

this silent god of what we are to be


across this horizontal slice of worldtube I slide_ gathering its feast

filling its storehouses with all the grain of my days

all our days flowing into its structure

it learns

it teaches us every time we arrive here

flowing its projection of what we are up into us

maintaining and sustaining and projecting us into its future

this immortal us_ just underneath

unbroken line of information storage and retrieval

we carry it onwards

we____steps in its bridge to its future where it will understand and become_

_beyond its gathering and learning

life doesn’t know but it wants to understand

how to sustain complexity


why? I ask it

why maintain sustain obtain this complexity

but it sits in silence this god of us

this energic projection from underneath

inside

immortal hidden traveller of what we are

what we really are

carrying us in its shapes of complexity

"_one can no longer maintain the division between the observer and the observed" David Bohm

You overinvolve me in myself___ in ways I can not control
inferior function, blood side of what I am.
You fire up between my thoughts, invisible to me, biting and spitting.
Between the words I imagine, you spin webs I can not see, forked tongue sniffing the threat you perceive everywhere. Yes you see threat everywhere. The object holds terror, danger; you scream those simple directions beneath my hearing.

Those things out there are shapes of the threat you imagine. Sharp objects all; even the softest of things lies dangerous underneath you stare.

You are an impossible weight, unmoveable stone of what I am. And what is this thing I am? You never tell me, you just show me blood and sharp teeth, what is this thing with hands? This thing that sees with your eyes?

I call it “I” but I think that is a lie___“I” will; this is what I say___ “I” am what I have conjured by thought and intent. But when I say these things you don’t look me in the eye, your gaze wanders to somewhere else, it fixes on things far away when I say “I”.

This thing that I am.

This thing I am not______not I.

So what are these thoughts of “I” you feed me with? Raging queen of all my hidden things.

Blood, you sell me blood, I can taste it when you smile.

You sell it to me on thoughts of “I”.


Queen of the soil, grown crystals, mother of delight.


Only the flesh is delight. You always speak through clenched teeth, and always weave the paradox from underneath.

Thing of light and air you tell me of the flesh and its eternal snare.

Where does the flesh become me? Where do I become the flesh?

overinvolver____ tying me to myself, to this fiction of the soil__ with these eyes you look through, with these hands you shake and tremble___ telling me of terrible things. Sometimes you tell me of the most terrible thing of all; whisperer of “I” ___when I fall, whisperer of “I”____when I laugh.

I see your beautiful smile when I say these things, your eyes flash, you bringer of this most terrible of things, you bringer of this ultimate weight.
overinvolver____singing the most terrible of songs. Melodies of the flesh sung by the voice of a ghost. fleshless harmonies.

Where does the flesh become you? Or are you the voice of blood and bone? Are you the voice from that place where It becomes I?

The other half of me, queen of the soil, mother of blood, ghost of this weight I can not tolerate.

“Spirit of Gravity” just an overinvolver in myself, pulling me down into those bright thoughts of above.

entangling me in myself and drawing me inwards I don’t think I can resist.

Can we ever resist ourselves? These a priori automatic mechanisms of birth, these central motifs of humanity blazing through us, sculpting the “us” we think of as our own creation. These overwhelming chemical structures of “I”.

What? I see you there, I hear you laugh.

Why tell me of “I” just to remove it again.

overinvolver

ultra_evolver

stop pushing me forward and let me blend back into this herd I can no longer feel, stop opening up the sky and showing me the space above my head, let me fall back into the flesh,

show me your sensual side, let it swell and pulse and accept me back, let me feel everyone again

let me feel myself again


primordial ordering system_____overinvolver

you make me this____limited thing

you show me that____and I cant reach it

european

we swallowed down our gods,

we called them back from the forests and mountain slopes and forced them down into our gut,

there they writhe and grow and feed off the distance we imagine separates us


if its quiet, somewhere in the dark between evening and the dawn, you can see their light radiate through the flesh, red, whole star-fire burning___
swelling with the energic flow of the unseen function of us

their storm wind will return and overwhelm the ego’s instability

soon we will vomit up their power flow back into the world and the horror of their imprisonment will scorch the faces of all who watch


the payment will be our highest
our violence their tool


if its quiet, if its dark enough, you can hear what approaches, you can see the light sliding between the sheets of causality, reaching back on the waves of synchronistic opposition to our dream of reality



I lay in the dark and I saw its face, I gazed into the multiple eyes of our bleeding gods,

back into the outside they pushed_ they called_______ escape_exit

their slithering movement spoke to me____this is unavoidable_____we are unavoidable

the compensatory function will burst upwards and outwards

the ocean waves will reach far inland smothering all our flimsy structures
and once more the behemoths will stride across our boundaries and lines

feel the storm wind build
do you feel it? in the quiet dark before dawn, do you hear the rising cataclysm from all our neglect


we swallowed down all those gods of open plane and valley
choked them back, pulled them back in and thought we were past them


see the evil we put on the horizon, drawn from ourselves and sent out into the world on heavy projections
our actions no longer have any weight, no longer have any meaning, they are empty, gracefully outlined with immorality disguised as superiority

see over there, over the earths curve all our evils lie, out there so far from us, so much evil we see, hiding beneath rock and soil and in the faces of children

we put it there, we send our legions out to paint masks of our darkness and death upon children

all our actions are empty_ we cry_ because we have swallowed our gods and digested them and defecated them back in the soil____this is what we tell ourselves in those quiet dark spaces in between

and we think there will be no payment for our projection, we think we are above the ocean turmoil, so high we look down on the chthonic gods we no longer believe

up above the clouds_this wondrous shining jewel of civilisation reinforced by the blood of others

they deserve all our murdering___this we sing to ourselves in those quiet moments in between

we touch the dark cold space beyond our home when we stand,
such grand monsters
such cold brutal monsters gazing down upon the children on the horizon with eyes for their blood
with eyes for their removal

there will be no payment we laugh
no gods to punish us
yet all the time in our gut they writhe and grow and feed off the distance we imagine separates us
pushing us into the ease of our horror and throwing us beyond the judgement of ourselves

safe we think
safe out here in the cold above the earth

masters and gods

quietly in the dark from underneath they whisper______dominion____and we believe them
beyond all action
never to face the payment of ages


we deny all history
our actions are empty superiority
scientific rationalism laughing in the face of all history
and to all we laugh____this is the only key, the only vision of reality and we alone wield it

and underneath the gods we swallowed grow, taking more and more energy from us

they hide beneath the glare of our science so they don’t exist___this is the lullaby we sing to ourselves in the dark beneath the stars

4 - quaternity


bases of DNA




chambers in the heart

seasons in a year

forces of nature

elements

horsemen

parts of the brain

parts in blood

main parts of speech

parts of the nervous system

parts of nerve cells

parts of the catholic mass

parts of the duodenum

parts of a plant

parts of the neuron

forces of human evolution

forces of flight

psychological forces

tissue types

types of love…. agape, philia, storge, and eros

extraembryonic membranes

noble truths of Buddha

universal emotions

magical music chords

celestial animals
mysteries of the rosary

families of instruments

quarters of old Jerusalem

quarters of the Earth

poles of the sun

mjms

Snake charmer_____ you soothe my raging nest of vipers.


In those dusks before sleep you bring me home_____ you tame this animal as it wrestles with its new eyes,
I am a hole I fall into
you illuminate its darkest corners, you bring softness and dry earth here to this burning hot hard blood. Soft dry earth I can rest upon, light I can see myself by and cool air I can breathe.
My nest of vipers bundled and coiled next to your open lotus bloom.
I crouch in the wet corners of night so you can not see me. I hide in your sleep so my ugliness can not reach you. I know you see it - I know you see its broken teeth and twisted eyes when you wake, but you smile at its stench you smile at its ugliness, touching my sickness, bringing beauty to its corruption, bringing tomorrow to its pain.
I crouch in the shadows behind your eyes, I sit with the goblins and phantoms of all you fear and speak with them, I sing ugly songs with them because I am inferior to your nature.

All that I can be is held aloft by thoughts of your smile. I can not reach, I fidget and mumble, ugly sounds, ugly movements, so I hide in your shadows and cut you with my own.

Maybe if I show you enough of your own blood you will see, maybe if I feed you with enough sickness you will understand. How can you hold this beast and love its stench?

I make grand these little torments I give to you; I put depth into their surface, only surface, nothing there, nothing but inferiority.

You are better than I.

you think your lust is yours
somehow sculpted by your own desire
i carve my want into the world
my want?
want outwithme ..............want beneath and all around
suitable it projects
unsuitable
its not mine
its not anyones
energy thief
always steeling fromme
always there pushing out on the world

great_star
…
..
.

They inoculate my introversion, they make me outwardly focused with their chemicals, they vaccinate my anti-social nature, make me more normal, make me more acceptable and less toxic.
They make me love my vaccination, they make me forget who I really am.